Last night NBC premiered its new reality matchmaking competition series Ready for Love. I suspected I might be in trouble when executive producer Eva Longoria (yep) opened the show explaining how the premise of this show is completely different from all the other dating shows out there that ‘don’t work too well at matching people.’
There’s not just one, but three bachelors on the show – Tim, a ‘rock star’ from a band I never heard of called The Plain White Tees; Ben, a successful businessman and CEO of some sort of hospital; and Ernesto, an entrepreneur with a social vision (whatever that means, but he has a beard), and all three are ready for love. That’s three-times the love folks.
Thousands of seemingly crazy women signed up on Facebook to apply, and then three professional matchmakers each chose four
desperate actresses, stalkers, women, for each guy to compete for their affections. Then ‘America’s favorite married couple’ Giuliana and Bill Rancic as hosts ‘guide us through this amazing search for true love.’ Two minutes into the show and now I know I’m in trouble, but I solder on. After all, I’m performing a public service for you, my dear readers. I watch this shit so you don’t have to.
Then there are highlights of the weeks ahead of what we can look forward to, with lots of tears, hard truth mentoring from the matchmakers, wacky love crazed Ernesto climbing the stage set to the very top to ‘rescue’ Barbie, still in her original unopened packaging, hands pressed together on opposing sides of the glass like something out The Wrath of Kahn (Is she dying?), or prison. The Tivo is at the three-minute mark now and I’m finding myself searching for the remote, or a gun to put to my head, whichever is closest at hand.
Then the gloves come off with more highlights of things to come – chicks beating the shit out of each other, tears, more tears, mud-slinging (literally), bitching, moaning, stomping, name calling, more tears, exotic dates, hugging, kissing, cuddling, more tough love from the matchmakers, more kissing, more tears, and someone gets a ring at the end.
And I’m done at six minutes. I can’t take any more. I’m not ready for Ready for Love. Apparently I’m not alone. Even with the lovely Eva Longoria at the helm, and despite getting a huge lead-in from The Voice, the two-hour series premiere of ‘the romantic adventure of a lifetime” came in last place among the major broadcast networks at both 9 and 10 p.m. At least I lasted six minutes. Most of America chose not to witness any of what Rachel Stein described in her Television Without Pity review as a ‘poorly edited, egregiously sexist and clearly low-budget production.’
Let’s face it. Aside from bringing in the professional matchmakers, Ready for Love is just an amalgamation of the same old crap we’ve seen before, and it’s clearly not ready for prime time. America was not fooled this time. Given it’s terrible initial showing, I don’t expect this show to last very long. And poor Tim, Ben and Ernesto (who clearly don’t have trouble meeting women) will just have to find true love elsewhere, like maybe the Internet like everyone else. Or maybe Eva can hook them up with some of her hot friends?