Probably

Today’s Online Personal Ad Of The Day comes from Seattle WA from the men seeking women classified ads.

You are beautiful, smart and probably, evil – 41 (Seattle)

seattle craigslist / m4w / Nov 14 2012

The things in me that I find women seem to comment on (this is the “pre-meeting, surprise-abating, honest insight section”)
– Super smart. I know something about everything. Well read, well travelled, published.
– Super funny. Standup comedy for a year (!), advertising creative chops, low filtration levels.
– Super good kisser. Just reading you back the comment cards here, ladies.
– Great Eyes, Teeth, Hair: not balding, perfect teeth, big blue eyes and long eyelashes (think “Travolta-esque”)

the bad:
– If i’m right, admit it. if you don’t, i will tickle you.
– I am always working.
– I am 5’10”, so if you are over 5′ 8″ and you’re into platforms, you may have height issues, glamazons
– I am east coast/bostonian, so i often use the F word and then realize “oh my GOD, I’m in Seattle!” For someone with major vocab skillz, I have major potty mouth.
– Sense of humor is boundary-less. Funerals, weddings, powerpoint presentations. If it’s funny, i’m first in.
– I need to go to the gym. about two pants sizes bigger than i want but make up for it with wide shoulders. So not “cut”, but not “fat”; hunky bordering on chunky?
– I use movies as convenient references for everything, like “he’s like Napoleon Dynamite–he talks with his eyes closed and his brother is like Kip”. Just nod and say “right?”

the ugly:
– I don’t date smokers
– i don’t date STD carriers (no, not even oral herpes… sorry)
– I’m not rich. (though the upside is that i don’t work at Microsoft either, so i’m not boring)
– I use bullet points.

Intangibles:
– i love animals, smart people, ideas, and great coffee
– i’m a giver. I bring presents, for no reason.
– i am a keeper. i don’t have any weird skeletons in my closet, any ex-wives and no kids.
– i cook. Well.
– i buy, always.
– I hold doors, i smile at your bad jokes, i tell you you look pretty even when you don’t.
– your parents will like me.
– i am unafraid.

About Thomas Kelleher

Ad Man | Author : www.tomkelleher.com
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