I Choose Not To Watch The Choice.

Because it’s stupid.

Really, really stupid. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. Violet Kanian wrote a review of FOX’s latest chair-spinning brain-rotting dating show offering for Examiner.com yesterday that I think was pretty spot on.

While the point of The Voice (FOX’s original chair-spinning show) is to find new talent (which isn’t a bad show actually), the “concept” behind The Choice is to help lonely celebrities like Carmen Electra and Mike The Situation find their dream date, because they’re shy. (And the economy still sucks and prostitutes are expensive.)

The Choice has four celebrities with their chairs turned towards the audience; their backs to the stage. (Sound familiar?) A “hot” male or female (depending on the week) approaches the stage and tells the four celebrities why he/she should choose him/her to… fornicate basically.

Violet suggests that we save our time and energy and don’t watch The Choice. And I think she’s right. Let’s not encourage FOX or any other network to repeatedly subject us to this kind of crap.

So dear readers I’ve come up with a few other choices for you to choose from so that you don’t have to watch The Choice next Thursday night at 9:00. (Programming may vary depending on location.) You’re welcome.

ABC — Wipeout

CBS — Person of Interest

NBC — Saving Hope

The CW — The Vampire Diaries

PBS — Something Boring

HSN — Victoria Wieck Gemstones Celebration

QVC — Breezies BBW Intimates Collection

Discovery — Auction Kings

WGN — The Old Adventures of New Christine

Food — Chopped (isn’t everything?)

TBS — The Big Bang Theory (nerds!)

FX — Anger Management (winning!)

TNT — The Mentalist

ESPN — SportsCenter (ding ding ding)

MTV — Another Fucking Thing With Snookie In It

VHI — Another Fucking Hip Hop Dating Show

SPIKE — Sweaty Guys In Tights Humping Named Miz

BRAVO — The Real Annoying Housewives of New York City

Animal Planet — River Monsters: Unhooked

FOX News — Insannity

The Weather Channel — Pyros

History Channel — Swamp People (followed by Mountain Men who are probably related)

Comedy Central — South Park (ding ding ding)

Tru TV — World’s Dumbest… (network producers?)

BET — He’s Mine Not Yours

E — Mrs. Eastwood & Company

Travel — Trip Flip

TV Land — Every Old Person Loves Raymond

SciFi — Angels and Demons (SyFy is stupid by the way — why did they change again?)

Versus — 2012 Tour de France

Jewelry Television — Jewelry Television

Nick Jr. — Yo Kill Me Now

NickToons — SpongeBob SquarePants PassTheBowl

G4 — Cops

Logo — Poltergeist II: The Other Side (huh?)

GSN — Baggage

BBC America — Ladyhawke

Oxygen — House

Cooking — Food(ography)

Style — Sex and the City

Hallmark — Little House on the Prairie

DIY — Indoors Out

OWN — 48 Hours: Hard Evidence

FIT tv –My Strange Addiction (followed by My Crazy Obsession and My Freaky Fetish)

I.D. — Behind Mansion Walls

Nat Geo — Amish: Out of Order

SC — How It’s Made

MIL — Gettysburg: Pickett’s Charge

BIO — Dog The Bounty Hunter

Greenn — Dirty Jobs

TV5 Monde — On n’est pas couche’ (what?)

Speed — Wrecked

WE tv — L.A. Hair

CMT — Them Idiots Whirled Tour (seriously)

So there, you see? Spoiled for choice. Although admittedly a lot of this doesn’t look much better than The Choice. But I did give you at least two solid alternatives to choose from so I can sleep well tonight knowing I’ve done my job. The rest is up to you. And remember, that remote also has an Off button.

About Thomas Kelleher

Ad Man | Author : www.tomkelleher.com
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