She Blew Up Like A Tick

When I saw the promo for ABC’s new reality series Dating in the Dark, I thought it was going to be rather stupid. I wasn’t wrong.

The premise was interesting enough — after several days of dating in a darkroom, twenty-something participants choose the person they want to see in the light. And if they like what they see, they can potentially go out on a date together. So initially the only thing they have to go on during their initial encounters in a pitch black room is conversation and how well get along with each other. And, of course, the nonchalant Ray Charles wrist check.

Which is actually a lot like Internet dating via free personal ads, and the interaction that takes place online before exchanging fake photos.

But then you have to sit through exchanges like this between Joey and Natasha on their first date in the dark:

“I was dating a girl, and it was great. Then after about four or five months, she got real comfortable, and she blew up like a tick! And so then, like I couldn’t perform anymore, and so now I was like there must be something wrong with me. You know what I mean?”

“You weren’t able to have sex with her?”

“No. Absolutely not. Because she blew up like a tick. That’s exactly what I told her.”

“You said that to your girlfriend?”

“Absolutely. I said, you blew up like a tick!”

It only got worse from there. But Joey didn’t realize it because he thought the date went great. “Women definitely respond to my brutal honesty, in a positive way, because I’m letting them know exactly how I feel.”

Natasha didn’t think the date went so great. Which is strange, because based on some vague compatibility test  that was supposedly conducted by an “expert” but not really discussed much, the two of them were deemed 78% compatible.

In the end though, Joey (who’s now resolved to only date women 5’2 and under, and 100 lbs) did not receive an invitation to meet Natasha, or anyone else for that matter, in the light. (Shocker.) Which did actually give me hope.

So in the end, what effect did turning on the lights have on this little experiment when they revealed themselves to one another?

The result may surprise you. Physical appearance and attractiveness was a significant factor in determining whether couples who found each other attractive in the dark still went out on a date together after meeting in the light. And even though during the reveal, the ones making the decisions found little flaws and imperfections in their counterparts, they still choose to go through with the date based on their initial chemistry together. Nice!

Coincidently, both Joey (who was handsome) and Natasha (who was actually rather nice and very attractive) went home alone in case you were wondering. Maybe the “expert” was right after all?

Still, while I appreciated the outcome of this particular episode, I can’t say I’ll be watching Dating in the Dark again. There are just too many jackasses like Joey out there for me to waste another hour of my life on, and I think the show is pretty much a one trick pony. Based on next week’s previews, it looks like more idiots are on the way (from both sexes). Just stick to the Internet people; it’s a lot safer.

About Thomas Kelleher

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One Response to She Blew Up Like A Tick

  1. jill says:

    what does “blow up like a tick” mean..that she gained weight?
    Big girls need some love too. At least plus size women have a place
    where they can find love online. Anyway..great blog!

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