How low can we go America?

Apparently, pretty damn low standards-wise people. I give you last night’s two hour “Wipeout Blind Date – Love Hurts” ummmm ‘special’ from our friends at ABC, who have clearly shot their wad producing anything of substance since Modern Family wrapped for the season.

Jumping right on the dating show bandwagon, the premise (if you can call it that) 12 couples are paired up for what the producers consider to be the ultimate blind date — a trip through the Wipeout obstacle course, and competing to win a grand prize of $100,000.

All they had to do is make it through the qualifier including the Sucker Punch of Love, Big Balls of Passion, and mindless co-host jibber jabber before being swept away in a Torrent of Ecstasy. I’m not sure what they had to do after that because I stopped watching three minutes into this truly mind numbing drivel, because I was starting to throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Don’t get me wrong. I know this kind of stuff is very popular around the world, and like most of our reality television, is a transplanted concept from other folks who should know better and cheap to produce compared to well… anything of substance. And I do like a lot of stupid things. I really do. But this isn’t just stupid; it’s moronic. The live video stream of the oil spill in the Gulf is more interesting than this. Even my dog got up and walked out of the room. (I think he threw up something too actually, but that could be unrelated.)

And to top it all off, this was billed as a sneak peak at SEASON 3! Enough people have been watching this crapola for the past two years to justify renewing the show for a third season, while gems like Firefly, Arrested Development, Sports Night, Southland (and let’s not forget The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien) get canned way before their sell-by dates.

It’s not fair and it’s not right. And yes, you have the option of changing the channel. But those three minutes have caused irrevokable brain damage and will no doubt require some degree of primal scream therapy for years to come.

At some point we have to come to our senses, turn off the idiot box, scream “enough!” and read a good book instead (like FREE LOVE – True Stories of Love and Lust on the Internet by Thomas Kelleher); sending a clear message to the networks and advertisers that we’re mad as hell and not going to take it any more.

There. I’ve now vented, said my piece and have plugged my book. Thanks for listening. Now back to Cougar Town.

About Thomas Kelleher

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