$0.99 Smashwords Sale Ends Tomorrow

Only two days left to take advantage of the extra super special discount promo offer for Smashwords users.

Download Free Love – True Stories of Love and Lust on the Internet from Smashwords for only 99 cents. I must be crazy to be giving away books at that price! That’s a 66% discount folks. What better way is there to unload all those pennies in your pocket? (And here I thought you were just happy to see me.)

In case you need more convincing, here are a few industry reviews:

“This book is a fascinating story of what people are looking for and why they are looking for it.” –San Francisco Book Review

 “Whether you’re familiar with the world of online dating and personal ads or not, Free Love is at once fascinating, funny, insanely compelling, and at times, even sad.” –Gillian Telling, Author and Sex Columnist for Maxim Magazine

 “A fascinating and very much recommended read for anyone who wants to understand the carnal value of the Internet” –Midwest Book Review

Additional reader reviews can also be found on Free Love’s Amazon book page.

Offer expires tomorrow 05/15/13. Enter Offer Code NE48A at Checkout. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/29300

Even if you’re not currently using Smashwords, chances are someone you know is. So please please pretty please with sugar on top, Like, Tweet, Pin, and/or Share this to anyone you know who enjoys a good read on and/or off the toilet and/or needs to get laid on and/or off the toilet. Thank you!

Go on and have a buchers if you fancy a bit of slap and tickle and how’s your father.

If you’ve exhausted all of your dating options in your own country it’s time to expand your horizons and try your luck on another continent. And DatingMashup.com is the site for you! DatingMashup.com is the ‘unique free dating website dedicated to helping you find that special someone for whom you have an international attraction.’ 

Curious to find that special someone who has that accent or who has a certain cultural heritage you find attractive? DatingMashup.com is the dating website to help you find people from all over the world right in your own neighborhood.

So whether it’s the look, the accent that you love, or you’re just curious about what it’s like to date someone from a certain country in your own locale, DatingMashup.com is the free dating website that can help you find the love of your life. And if you’re interested in dating others who share your own culture, your own ethnicity, you can search for them as well.

It’s really not all that free, of course. It’s free to sign up, like most online dating sites, but there are apparently memberships to be had, whatever that means – that page says “Coming Soon.” Which tells me this site is still a work in progress (it was launched over a year ago in March 2012) and it will eventually cost you something if you’re a member.

I don’t think it’s all that unique either, other than having the ability to identify your own accent (as opposed to the languages you speak) in your profile (it’s a requirement actually) and I’m guessing to also be able to search for the same, which seems to be the  whole point of the site. But it’s rather flawed. What exactly is a “European” accent? Or even an “American (English)” one for that matter?

In my opinion it’s great to have a thing for a sexy accent but to have that as a primary requirement when looking for a meaningful relationship is pretty superficial. And I hate to break it to you, but I think I can say with some certainty that most folks in other countries aren’t going to be interested in hearing your “American” accent for very long.

I also have no idea where the name DatingMashup comes from. What exactly are they mashing up? And what’s up with that dude on the home page?

Red flags also went up when I saw the “Other Offerings” available on the website, including, wait for it… baseball roses. If you are a sports nut check out these bouquets shaped like roses but made out of baseballs, footballs and softballs. Go on, I double dog dare you to buy one of these for your mom next year for Mother’s Day, or that English Rose you met on this website with the “British (English)” accent you’re so hot for.

There are also eBooks available for purchase  offering dating strategies for men, women marriage/relationships and communication. For men there’s First Date Mastery – Secrets of a Successful First Date. (Dress nice. Don’t pick your nose. You pay. Mystery solved.) For the ladies there’s Calling Men: The Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing The Men You Date. (If you’re dating someone, aren’t you already calling and/or emailing them?) There’s also the Men Made Easy Workbook. How to Capture His Heart Forever. (Men are already easy. Learn to breathe through your nose.) And What is he Really Thinking? Discover Secrets About Men That Most Women Will Never Know. (He’s thinking that he hates your “American” accent.)

I’d love to know how many active members are using this site, and how many of them bought baseball flowers, and/or any of these ridiculous “self-help” books, but I’m guessing that it’s not very many and that you should maybe try your luck elsewhere. Like maybe that British pub down the street for example.

Hooray Hooray For The 8th Of May

It’s National Outdoor Intercourse Day! Did you celebrate? Well if you didn’t you probably haven’t heard of it, which means you’re probably not a WSU alumni, and you’re definitely not from the Pacific Northwest.

National Outdoor Intercourse Day, or NOID, is an entire day dedicated to doing the dirty deed, making the beast with two backs, bumping uglies or knocking boots in the great outdoors. It’s alternatively known as the 69th of March.

The origins are sketchy. There are rumors that the holiday was started in Washington State in the early 1960s. Washington State University (my alma mater) claims it, as does the University of Idaho, Western Washington and a handful of other Northwest colleges.

The WSU story is that rebellious students declared the day as an unofficial holiday after the University banned blankets from the grassy areas on campus because they were afraid that something other than picnicking or studying was going on. Others say that NOID was started by the Delta Tau Delta fraternity at WSU in about 1960. Who knows really how this all got started, but most folks agree that the “holiday” likely originated in the state of Washington. (Bigfoot too.)

It does seem to be catching on though as more and more people are becoming aware of it throughout the country, and, um, celebrating. (You’re welcome.) Jacking off on your back porch when you think no one’s looking doesn’t count by the way, unless someone’s with you.

So enjoy what’s left of the day and/or start planning that camping trip for next year. As for me, while I managed to take in a Giants game today, that’s about it. Maybe next time.

“I Do Like To Take Charge In The Bedroom” – w4m

Read true women seeking men online dating stories in FREE LOVE – True Stories of Love and Lust on the Internet by Thomas Kelleher available on Amazon.com and wherever books are sold for as low as $2.99.

Martha Stewart is Horny

Probably the most famous 71-year old, once divorced, homemaking mogul ex-con we know is looking for love and has joined the online dating pool. You may have already heard all the hoopla, but Martha Stewart has recently created a profile on Match.com with the screen name TheGoodLongLife.

She’s looking for men aged 55 to 70-years-old  in the New York City area who is ‘intelligent, established and curious, and who relishes adventure and new experiences as much as I do… someone who can teach me new things, a lover of animals, grandchildren and the outdoors, and is young at heart.’

She is embracing technology to enhance her love life and describes herself as curious about everything, as reported by Kristen Kraemer from OK! Magazine, and says that the efficiency of online dating might be a good way to find that needle in a haystack.

She’s apparently also using her dating profile to promote her new book Living The Good Long Life. Hmmmm. The timing of all this seems a little strange, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I think I smell a rat. (No one likes a rat.) Maybe I should convince my widower Dad to go on Match.com and “poke” her or whatever they do to each other on that site. He’s none of the things she’s looking for (except the grandchildren part as long as he keeps sending cash on birthdays and holidays), but he needs to start getting out there. And I bet if she sells enough books from it she won’t mind too much.

At least it has made for some good late night viewing fodder. Check out “Martha Stewart Needs A Man“ from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and “Martha Stewart’s Kinky Match.com Video“ from Conan O’Brien.

A Truly Lonely Island

Today’s Online Personal Ad Of The Day comes from The Aloha State of Hawaii, where I spent last week getting a little R&R (Rest and Relaxation). It was about as relaxing as it gets when travelling with a toddler, but I’ll take what I can get. Anyway, I’m back now and I missed you too. This women seeking men personal ad is demonstrative of what my Lomilomi was telling me the other day (that part was relaxing) about what dating life is like for her single friends living on an island – pretty slim pickings. There are only so many eligible men available, and sadly it seems that this particular woman hasn’t met any of them yet on the Internet. I hope it gets better for her.

oahu craigslist / women seeking men / 05/01/2013

It just hurts – 30 – w4m

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Ok so here goes. I have to say these things because I quite possibly think too much and I am tired of feeling used (which I am sure I am to blame). Does every man on here think that just because you post on CL that all you’re looking for is a quick fuck? Apparently. Either you talk a good game, and never show or you show and think I’m a free prostitute. Don’t get me wrong I like sex as much as the next person but for me (and maybe only me) sex is only satisfying if it’s with someone you actually want to have it with. Tired of guys lying through their teeth or being confusing. I’ve had guys lie about everything from, where they are from, their age, relationship status, job, even had a guy tell me he smoked weed and then when we get together to burn he didn’t, and everything in between. And I never call them out. We all have our reasons. They say I’m beautiful, and sexy and love my company but yet don’t want to see each other again. I’m positive it’s me but don’t know how to fix an unknown problem. One guy said I was bat shit crazy because I couldn’t quit talking and kept stopping fucking him but he literally gave me 5 minutes to meet and then he was all over me and quite frankly made me very nervous. Maybe I am the crazy one. Who knows anymore. I figure when I meet the right guy he will know where my heart is and be my ultimate calming factor. That’s actually something I look for in another person. The yin to my yang, water to my fire. My opposite and absolute calming factor. I don’t need help being anxietal. Am I just another whore who will never find someone to really love and cherish me? I don’t expect replies or comments but hey bring it on. Just be nice. My heart hurts so bad at this point. I’m not looking for anything or anyone and if I was I’m sure I won’t find it on here. It’s always the same people fishing. Trust me I know.

Feeling Lucky on Earth Day Today?

Google is commemorating Earth Day, the annual day for everyone to try really really hard to not fuck up the planet any more than it already is, with an animated doodle showing a cycle of all four seasons that’s worth checking out.

Earth Day is an annual holiday (now 43 years old), celebrated on April 22, held worldwide to respect nature and the environment and to demonstrate support for environmental protection.

If you live in the Bay Area and would like to do more than just hugging a few trees and kicking a few tires on a Volt (you can do that here any day) before heading home and turning off your lights for an hour, About.com San Francisco has compiled a list of SF Bay Area events and activities for Earth Day 2013. You can also Google search for more local events closer to you after you’ve been entertained by the doodle.

Personally I’m getting more excited about the upcoming 8th of May holiday. Stay tuned…